Bite Cafe, 1039 N. Western Ave., (773) 395-2483, bitecafechicago.com
Whether you just got dumped by your Missed Connection, were hit by a car on your stolen fixie, or are just green around the gills, noon sure can feel like shit on the weekend. Good thing an hour or so at Bite Cafe can solve all of these #1stworldproblems:
- If Elise is working, she’ll surely steal your broken heart (tweet at us, we’re great dates!)
- Breakfast poutine, complete with poached eggs and the tangy addition pickled chilies, to mop up anything lingering from the night before and give you a solid base for the inevitable day drinking ahead
- You’re by your damn self if you got hit by a car, we recommend a combination of tequila x André x orange juice and pseudo-limited edition Henny
While gravy-soaked french fries and ogling a heavily tattooed waitress are all you truly need when you’re drinking, Bite is a great spot for a number of other reasons. First off, they do away with the passe “é” and spell their name in American -”CAFE.” When brunchin’, don’t overlook the pork hash: you probably won’t finish it, but you’ll be glad you ordered it in all of its braised pork and brussels sprout glory. Resolving to eat healthier in 2012? We can’t in good conscience condone ordering anything meatless, however our juice-cleanse-purchasing-MMA-gym-joining companion enjoyed his kale heavy tofu scramble du jour so much he almost ordered a second.
If you’re going for dinner, Bite has nightly specials ranging from the Catholic-friendly (Friday Fish Fry) to delicious but probably offensive (Fried Chicken and 40s on Tuesdays). Stop next door at The Empty Bottle, grab a few OEs and sink your teeth into some of their spicy boneless fried goodness. The regular dinner menu won’t disappoint, either, with mussels and fries (nay “frites”-America), legit burgers and a pulled pork sandwich with Dark Matter BBQ sauce that we haven’t yet consumed, but will absolutely be back for based on seeing it plated.
The next time you have your heart broken by the internet, get hit by a car, or just want to catch some grub on the way to hipster dance party at Empty Bottle, stop into Bite. Just don’t try to steal Elise from us, or else.